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Her heart did whisper that he had done it for her. But it was a hope shortly checked by other considerations, and she soon felt that even her vanity was insufficient, when required to depend on his affection for her— for a woman who had already refused him— as able to overcome a sentiment so natural as abhorrence against relationship with Wickham. Brother-in-law of Wickham! Every kind of pride must revolt from the connection. He had, to be sure, done much. She was ashamed to think how much. But he had given a reason for his interference, which asked no extraordinary stretch of belief. It was reasonable that he should feel he had been wrong; he had liberality, and he had the means of exercising it; and though she would not place herself as his principal inducement, she could, perhaps, believe that remaining partiality for her might assist his endeavours in a cause where her peace of mind must be materially concerned. It was painful, exceedingly painful, to know that they were under obligations to a person who could never receive a return.
"If Mr. Darcy is neither by honour
nor inclination confined to his cousin, why is not he to make another
choice? And if I am that choice, why may not I accept him?"
"Because honour, decorum, prudence, nay, interest, forbid it. Yes, Miss
Bennet, interest; for do not expect to be noticed by his family or friends,
if you wilfully act against the inclinations of all. You will be censured,
slighted, and despised, by everyone connected with him. Your alliance will
be a disgrace; your name will never even be mentioned by any of us."
"These are heavy misfortunes," replied Elizabeth. "But the wife of Mr. Darcy
must have such extraordinary sources of happiness necessarily attached to
her situation, that she could, upon the whole, have no cause to repine."
"Miss Bennet I am shocked and
astonished. I expected to find a more reasonable young woman. But do not
deceive yourself into a belief that I will ever recede. I shall not go away
till you have given me the assurance I require."
"And I certainly never shall give it. I am not to be intimidated into
anything so wholly unreasonable. Your ladyship wants Mr. Darcy to marry your
daughter; but would my giving you the wished-for promise make their marriage
at all more probable? Supposing him to be attached to me, would my refusing
to accept his hand make him wish to bestow it on his cousin? Allow me to
say, Lady Catherine, that the arguments with which you have supported this
extraordinary application have been as frivolous as the application was
ill-judged. You have widely mistaken my character, if you think I can be
worked on by such persuasions as these. How far your nephew might approve of
your interference in his affairs, I cannot tell; but you have certainly no
right to concern yourself in mine. I must beg, therefore, to be importuned
no farther on the subject."
"You are then resolved to have him?"
"I have said no such thing. I am only resolved to act in that manner, which
will, in my own opinion, constitute my happiness, without reference to you,
or to any person so wholly unconnected with me."
"It is well. You refuse, then, to oblige me. You refuse to obey the claims
of duty, honour, and gratitude. You are determined to ruin him in the
opinion of all his friends, and make him the contempt of the world."
"Neither duty, nor honour, nor gratitude," replied Elizabeth, "have any
possible claim on me, in the present instance. No principle of either would
be violated by my marriage with Mr. Darcy. And with regard to the resentment
of his family, or the indignation of the world, if the former were excited
by his marrying me, it would not give me one moment's concern— and the world
in general would have too much sense to join in the scorn."
""Mr. Darcy, you see, is the man!
Now, Lizzy, I think I have surprised you. Could he, or the Lucases, have
pitched on any man within the circle of our acquaintance, whose name would
have given the lie more effectually to what they related? Mr. Darcy, who
never looks at any woman but to see a blemish, and who probably never looked
at you in his life! It is admirable!"
Elizabeth tried to join in her father's pleasantry, but could only force one
most reluctant smile. Never had his wit been directed in a manner so little
agreeable to her."
"For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbours, and laugh at them in our turn?"
"Had they fixed on any other man it would have been nothing; but his perfect indifference, and your pointed dislike, make it so delightfully absurd! Much as I abominate writing, I would not give up Mr. Collins's correspondence for any consideration."
Elizabeth had never been more at a loss to make her feelings appear what they were not. It was necessary to laugh, when she would rather have cried. Her father had most cruelly mortified her, by what he said of Mr. Darcy's indifference, and she could do nothing but wonder at such a want of penetration, or fear that perhaps, instead of his seeing too little, she might have fancied too much. (Ch. 57)
"You are too generous to trifle with me. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes are unchanged, but one word from you will silence me on this subject for ever." (Ch. 58)
Elizabeth, feeling all the more than
common awkwardness and anxiety of his situation, now forced herself to
speak; and immediately, though not very fluently, gave him to understand
that her sentiments had undergone so material a change, since the period to
which he alluded, as to make her receive with gratitude and pleasure his
present assurances. The happiness which this reply produced, was such as he
had probably never felt before; and he expressed himself on the occasion as
sensibly and as warmly as a man violently in love can be supposed to do. Had
Elizabeth been able to encounter his eye, she might have seen how well the
expression of heartfelt delight, diffused over his face, became him; but,
though she could not look, she could listen, and he told her of feelings,
which, in proving of what importance she was to him, made his affection
every moment more valuable.
They walked on, without knowing in what direction. There was too much to be
thought, and felt, and said, for attention to any other objects.
"It taught me to hope," said he, "as
I had scarcely ever allowed myself to hope before. I knew enough of your
disposition to be certain that, had you been absolutely, irrevocably decided
against me, you would have acknowledged it to Lady Catherine, frankly and
openly."
Elizabeth coloured and laughed as she replied, "Yes, you know enough of my
frankness to believe me capable of that. After abusing you so abominably to
your face, I could have no scruple in abusing you to all your relations."
"We will not quarrel for the greater
share of blame annexed to that evening," said Elizabeth. "The conduct of
neither, if strictly examined, will be irreproachable; but since then, we
have both, I hope, improved in civility."
"I cannot be so easily reconciled to myself. The recollection of what I then
said, of my conduct, my manners, my expressions during the whole of it, is
now, and has been many months, inexpressibly painful to me. Your reproof, so
well applied, I shall never forget: 'had you behaved in a more gentlemanlike
manner.' Those were your words. You know not, you can scarcely conceive, how
they have tortured me;— though it was some time, I confess, before I was
reasonable enough to allow their justice."
"You thought me then devoid of every proper feeling, I am sure you did. The turn of your countenance I shall never forget, as you said that I could not have addressed you in any possible way that would induce you to accept me."
"When I wrote that letter," replied
Darcy, "I believed myself perfectly calm and cool, but I am since convinced
that it was written in a dreadful bitterness of spirit."
"The letter, perhaps, began in bitterness, but it did not end so. The adieu
is charity itself. But think no more of the letter. The feelings of the
person who wrote, and the person who received it, are now so widely
different from what they were then, that every unpleasant circumstance
attending it ought to be forgotten. You must learn some of my philosophy.
Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure."
"I cannot give you credit for any philosophy of the kind. Your
retrospections must be so totally void of reproach, that the contentment
arising from them is not of philosophy, but, what is much better, of
innocence. But with me, it is not so. Painful recollections will intrude
which cannot, which ought not, to be repelled. I have been a selfish being
all my life, in practice, though not in principle. As a child I was taught
what was right, but I was not taught to correct my temper. I was given good
principles, but left to follow them in pride and conceit. Unfortunately an
only son (for many years an only child), I was spoilt by my parents, who,
though good themselves (my father, particularly, all that was benevolent and
amiable), allowed, encouraged, almost taught me to be selfish and
overbearing; to care for none beyond my own family circle; to think meanly
of all the rest of the world; to wish at least to think meanly of their
sense and worth compared with my own. Such I was, from eight to eight and
twenty; and such I might still have been but for you, dearest, loveliest
Elizabeth! What do I not owe you! You taught me a lesson, hard indeed at
first, but most advantageous. By you, I was properly humbled. I came to you
without a doubt of my reception. You showed me how insufficient were all my
pretensions to please a woman worthy of being pleased."
"My object then," replied Darcy, "was to show you, by every civility in my power, that I was not so mean as to resent the past; and I hoped to obtain your forgiveness, to lessen your ill opinion, by letting you see that your reproofs had been attended to. How soon any other wishes introduced themselves I can hardly tell, but I believe in about half an hour after I had seen you."
"My dearest sister, now be serious.
I want to talk very seriously. Let me know every thing that I am to know,
without delay. Will you tell me how long you have loved him?"
"It has been coming on so gradually, that I hardly know when it began. But I
believe I must date it from my first seeing his beautiful grounds at
Pemberley."
Another entreaty that she would be serious, however, produced the desired
effect; and she soon satisfied Jane by her solemn assurances of attachment."
"I cannot fix on the hour, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun." (Mr.Darcy, Chapter 60)
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Pride and Prejudice Quotes - Chapters 37 - 61

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